If anyone asked me this question in 2010 , I would have taken a while to answer…. If I ask you this question now I wonder what your answer would be … Take five minutes to think about your answer and then read on…
My guess is that you will probably say either or all of the following :
- I have been married for x no of years and this was the next step to it
- I was nearing 30 and the doctor / family advised to have now than later for several biological reasons….
- To pass on the lineage of our family…
- My relationship with my husband was stagnating…A child would improve things between us…
- There is a lot of pressure on us from family to have kids
- I have one already…I had another child for my first born
- By accident !
- any other (you could put it in my comments)
In 2010 my answer would have been 2,4 and 5…. It took me 5 years and a little help from my cousin to understand that ALL these reasons are not really the right reasons to have kids….
Now, let me ask you another question … Why are you a homemaker (if you are one ) ? Again your answers could be
- My kid/kids is/are small and they need me
- I live with my in laws and they don’t appreciate me working while the kids are young
- My husband wants me to take care of the kids at home
- We don’t have good daycares in India so its better I take care of them myself
- I don’t have a work visa
- Any other (again, you can mention in the comments below)
In 2010, I would have chosen 1. But you know what , both my questions have the same following answer for me now :
We should have kids because we want to ENJOY our life with them….We want to enjoy our own childhood which we have left behind…We have become serious , mature adults who cannot laugh without a solid reason to laugh, who cannot play in a garden for the sake of playing, who do not have that innocence on our faces anymore… As a side note, isn’t it wonderful how a person’s eyes beautifully reflect their innocence or the lack of it….
So….. God gave us a passport to go back to our childhood… To have kids and revel in their innocent smile, their playful demeanor, their contagious laughter, the twinkle of their eyes when they are doing something naughty,their soft small fingers holding your fingers, their oh so soft cheeks where you can plant endless kisses and they won’t complain, their unbridled energy, their judgement free eyes, their unconditional hugs and kisses…..aah …the list is endless….
So my next question is
If you are enjoying your life and don’t feel the need for a child then why have one ? Is it fair to a child if he is brought into this world only to make the society happy ? It’s not a sacrosanct rule that everyone in this world should have children….and if it is then who made these rules…? Who made the rule that we have to marry and then only have children?? So if you don’t find the love of your life, you have no right to have a child and enjoy him/her…. If you do, you are at risk of countless questions and judging eyes ….
Do send me your comments… I will love to know what you think …
Till then, Enjoy your child 🙂
(This article is more in the context of my home country and is my personal opinion)