No, I don’t want to stop being a SAHM to make YOU Happy !

Today I am sad … Few days back I had written a post on how lucky I am to be a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) https://enjoyingyourkids.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/i-am-lucky-to-be-a-stay-at-home-mom-sahm/ and it got a lot of comments …positive and negative… the negative comments make me feel sad because they did not respect my CHOICE to become a SAHM… They don’t give me credit for being an adult and having the intelligence to make my own life decisions…I never looked down on working women…I could never balance family and work successfully… They have the full freedom to do so…

So today I am writing this blog to answer those very people who are “not happy “- with me being a happy SAHM …and I write on behalf of all other SAHMs who had judgement thrown at them …..These are my answers –

  1. To the FEMINISTS : When did looking down on your sisters  who chose to be SAHMs become a part of your beliefs ? Does Feminism teach that only women who work and multitask and get promoted and get paid salaries equal to men are the torch bearers of Feminism ?? And women who choose to Stay at home are not helping you promote your idea of Feminism ?? NO … a BIG NO…. Feminism (sisterhood) is more inclusive than you certainly are (http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/feminism) … …Feminism is that women should have a CHOICE and the FREEDOM to make their own life decisions …not under the pressure of their husbands / their in laws/ their children / the society / other women!!!!
  2. To the Women who work for their Daughter’s / Son’s work future: People told me that they work to show their daughters that it can be done …she can also be a working woman successfully… Or they want to show their sons that they shouldn’t expect women to ‘sit’ at home …But what these women forget is that children learn what is not being taught as well and we have NO CONTROL over that… so don’t kill yourself trying to teach them because that is exactly what they might learn ! They might learn that my mother was not there for me when I needed her and this is what I don’t want for sure ! Many of us have read the book by Sheryl Sandberg but we only know her side of the story… We don’t know the story of her children… We don’t know if her children will grow up to have the same beliefs as her??? And I don’t even want to know… I know myself … I was in Sheryl’s shoes and I was unhappy and impatient… just like this woman (do read her background at the end of her blog too) http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2014/02/25/recline-dont-lean-in-why-i-hate-sheryl-sandberg/ An excerpt from her blog
    1. Sandberg can keep right on leaning in if it makes her happy, but here’s my new feminist manifesto — call it a Manifestus for the Rest of Us.We need to fight for our right to lean out, and we need to do it together, girls. If we’re going to fight the culture of workplace ubiquity, and the parallel and equally-pernicious culture of intensive parenting, we need to do it together — and we need to bring our husbands and boyfriends and male colleagues along, too. They need to lean out in solidarity, for their own sake as well as ours.Women of the world, recline!
  3. To the women who work to make other women’s work future rosier…  To the women who work and want to reach the top so that they can make pro-women policies….All the Best to you… You are doing a great job… Unfortunately for you, I am more bothered about my and my family’s immediate happiness .. I am too selfish to think about other women … Me and my family come first because that gives me the much ‘cliched’ but much ‘elusive’ inner peace! I believe that bringing peace to my home comes before bringing peace to the society!
  4. To the Indian Society (not the whole society but the one that is mentioned in the comments) : When did WMs become cool and SAHMs become dumb ?? We are so proud of the Indian Culture …When did the Indian culture say that Indian women should work outside home? I am a big believer of Ayurveda and this is what Ayurveda says… The first step of Ayurveda is SELF AWARENESS ! When you know about yourself and what gives you happiness/ grief , it’s the first step to Good Health and Peace of MIND…. So if the mother is at peace whether she is WM or SAHM, she should be respected and appreciated instead of condemned! She has found her peace …who are you to decide that she is dumb or smart ? Why don’t you spend more time in finding your own peace rather than make judgements on other people ? Maybe Judging people gives YOU peace …Now that certainly is NOT the Indian Culture !
  5. To the Parents (in laws) who think that their daughters are wasting their education by being SAHMs… I personally think that it was easier to work in office with responsible adults rather than manage my children at home… Parents, you should be proud of your daughters who choose to become SAHM….They have made a CHOICE that makes them happy …. Yes, you are not able to boast to your friends that ‘my daughter is working with ‘so and so’ multinational’… I understand … But you should feel proud that she is sorted enough to know what she enjoys and is doing that…That proves you were great parents… doesn’t it ?? And believe me, I am using all my education and learning much more every day ! Its like a continuous upgradation on Life Skills !
  6. To the Husbands who think SAHM’s need to work to for their identity…. Somewhere I think Identity is mixed up with Appreciation… SAHM’s have an identity (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/identity)…they just don’t get appreciated….some women can handle it…some women cannot… Husband’s, it is not your job to decide for us whether we should work or not… We don’t need solutions for our problems from you…sometimes YOU are our problem….you don’t appreciate us… you think we are bringing up ‘your’ children incorrectly…. You think the house is not clean enough even if we are at home….you wonder what we do all day ….you think we cannot cook as well as your mother does…. Basically we are not qualified to be SAHM’s and will be better off working and hiring a ‘qualified’ nanny (daycare) to do our work at home !!  DO you think that anyone but me can take better care of my children??. Do you think that the nanny who trained on ‘other’ children can take care of my unique child better than me ??? I have a 9 month training by GOD + training on the job which no one else has, not even YOU… If you think I will be happier if I work outside then think again…because all I might need from you is simply some appreciation and acknowledgement for my efforts…
  7. To the woman who thinks its our duty to contribute to buy our own house and so we should work… I want to ask you if you going to carry your house with you when you die ?? if I don’t own a house, SO WHAT ?? I rent one… I don’t want the responsibility of a house and get stuck to one place… The world is my oyster… you know what I have done? I have invested in a time share resort …. because I want to build memories with my family… not homes !
  8. To the women who work outside to make their child independent … Darling, its like pushing your child in the deep end of the swimming pool to teach him to swim…You cannot do that till you have given him that initial training on how to float / swim right ?… Similarly , independent children need to be emotionally secure to be successfully independent… They need to know that you are there for them no matter what… read this article on raising independent children https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201011/parenting-raise-independent-children…nowhere does it mention that you should start working outside the house to foster independence ! Please work to make’ yourself’ happy…that’s the most valid reason !
  9. To the SAHM’s who are unhappy being SAHM… Dear, if you are unhappy in what you are doing then do what makes you happy…If you think working will make you happy, then do it…. If you can’t work in your current country, go back to the country where you can work…  Make choices which will make you happy because your family wants to see you Happy… A Happy Mother is the best gift you can give your children… However, do remember that even after working you might not be happy (like me)… And you might realize that the cause of your unhappiness was something else..maybe you just needed a part time nanny when you were a SAHM to get some ‘me time’. thats OK… you can always go back to being a SAHM… remember , we always have a choice !
  10. To the WMs who think I waste my time on FB / Whatsapp while they give ‘quality time’ to their child: Does going to office legalise checking your FB and Whatsapp accounts while its illegal to check them at home… Sorry, I am my own boss… I am not checking social media on someone else’s time… and I am not answerable to anyone for it ! I am with my kids the whole day but doesn’t mean that I spend every waking hour playing with them, teaching them … I am ‘around’ them… They can come and talk to me whenever they want …they don’t need to ‘call’ me and I don’t need to ‘call’ them ! I like it this way… I have never taught my kids anything like numbers or ABC… they will learn it sooner or later…But I provide them a safe and nurturing environment for them to learn on their own and I listen to them ! I LISTEN to them a LOT !

My due respect to the SAHM’s who are happy ! Kudos to you … you have guts…you have guts to know what makes you happy and to work on it in spite of what other people have to say or think about you…. You have the guts to give up your work friends, your coffee breaks , your me time at work , your financial independence because you want to enjoy your children…https://enjoyingyourkids.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/why-did-you-have-your-child/ … This time will fly away very fast… Soon, you will be celebrating the 18th birthday of your child… then you will have all the time to get back to work…I admire and appreciate you for your conviction… And now the three words you rarely hear ‘You are AWESOME’…. !

Till my next, enjoy your kids !

(You might notice that my blog has grammatical mistakes and the punctuation has gone for a toss… Please don’t let it bother you s long as you get the gist of what I am saying… When you have two kids to enjoy with, correcting you blog seems like a waste of time 😉 )

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84 thoughts on “No, I don’t want to stop being a SAHM to make YOU Happy !

  1. Honestly
    I’m sensing a lot of naivete from you. What did you think would happen when you wrote on such a controversial topic?? Spend some time googling sahm vs wm and you’ll see that this has been a hot topic for a long time. Long before you even had kids!
    Rule number one in blogging
    1) if you’re going to blog about a hot topic, be ready to receive ALL the reactions that come along with it.

    The most popular bloggers, the ones who become famous and have book deals, movie scripts, tv pilots etc etc, will all tell you that they’ve had to deal with lots and lots of negative feedback. That’s what happens when you express your views publicly on the internet. But at the end of the day, negative publicity is still publicity! You had so many comments on that post. You should be proud you got people’s attention! So toughen up girl!

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    1. Precisely!! Bloggers have full freedom to blog, but should have the courage when other people present different thoughts. You blogged well on your choice, but you also quoted notions about working moms. These notions where then reblogged, reposted, stating why SAHMs are superior to WMs. Working moms, would definitely clarify.
      Couple of points:
      1. Feminism that insults SAHMs sisters, or WM sisters, is not feminism. People tend to see feminism negatively. No, please don’t. Feminism, is a positive thought, that yes, is sadly abused, misused often.
      2. SAHMs are not proven dumb, because they Stay Home. But, Working moms, who go out as doctors,scientists, teachers etc. are making a mark on what women can do. SAHMs should cheer this women power, than criticize this. SAHMs, yes, can perhaps do the same, if they are interested.
      3. Blogs like this tend to set decided roles to women. Women are moms, sisters, but lots more. Its discouraging the women empowerment.
      4. Husbands who encourage women empowerment.. applaud them. Our sons should support, respect their wives, whatever their wife becomes.. SAHM, WM.
      5. Last question. Why do you divide moms as SAHMs, WMs? A mom is a mom. Every mom plans , decides and balances on her preferences, capabilities, talents, choices, upbringing, strata at society, making sure the best is enabled for her child. Now this “every mom” excludes the abusive, drunk etc. mothers. Don’t divide moms. Be “we moms” than SAHM, or WM.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely loved your response. You have a right to your happiness and to live life on your terms. Why should it matter whether it is by working or not working. You happy = Family happy.

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  3. The bottom line is ,do what makes you feel happy .Don’t let other people’s life define yours. We all fight similar and different battles and how we fight them make us who we are . We cannot let another’s personal choice dictate our happiness,we will never find it. You enjoy your time with your little ones and you don’t need to justify it to anybody .It is your life and theirs 🙂 .I have been a SAHM ,a student mom and a full time working mom.I still continue to improve my parenting with my kids as they grow up. There is always scope to change and learn , so enjoy every bit of their growing up,without your knowledge they are making you a better person every day !! Enjoy !!

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  4. Wow just wow. This post and the previous one are completely opinionated against working mothers. And the author wonders why she is getting the negative comments? I could go on and quote where she is preaching to the working mothers that they are NOT doing what is best for their children but I am not going to waste my time doing that.

    Honestly was hoping for a more unbiased post from this blogger since she got some excellent comments and suggestions in her comments section on the last one. Something along the lines of why she made her choice as opposed to why all the working mothers are making the wrong choice. Instead she has gone on the offensive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She won’t get it. So let me actually put those quotes down here where she implies that sahm are better than wm:

      “You have the guts to give up your work friends, your coffee breaks , your me time at work , your financial independence because you want to enjoy your children”

      “But I provide them a safe and nurturing environment for them to learn on their own and I listen to them ! I LISTEN to them a LOT !”

      “I have a 9 month training by GOD + training on the job which no one else has, not even YOU… If you think I will be happier if I work outside then think again…because all I might need from you is simply some appreciation and acknowledgement for my efforts…”

      “When did the Indian culture say that Indian women should work outside home? ”

      “They might learn that my mother was not there for me when I needed her”

      The author is defending all her choices as what is best for the kids and family and then tells working mothers to choose for themselves, not others. And the icing on the cake is the talk about being self aware. A simple reading of this and the previous blog really makes me question the author’s own self awareness and her claims that she is not judgmental about other’s choices.

      Liked by 3 people

    2. Oh and I just noticed this: “The world is my oyster… you know what I have done? I have invested in a time share resort …. because I want to build memories with my family… not homes”.

      If I was not completely done with this blog (after noticing the time share part I realize now I have been wasting my time here), I would have helped you understand what is wrong with your choice about “investing” in a time share. I just wanted to highlight it here in case others miss it too and hopefully someone else can enlighten you.

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      1. With all due respect, itsmehere, (I know your stance is similar to mine, so please understand that I am not arguing with you. I am just clarifying where my opinion lies),
        if you were replying to my post, my strong thoughts are not for working moms but really against judgmental people. Bottom line is that I am first a mother. Then, currently am a working mother (and I was a stay at home mother at one time when my twins were little). I actually have tremendous amount of respect for my SAHM friends, it’s extremely difficult to make that choice. My strong opinion is that every mom can and should have the freedom to make a choice that suits her and her family, and be happy with it. Respect and try to understand what the others may be going through and if you are able to, pitch in and help them.

        If we looked at the world from the eyes of this very judgmental blogger, and imagine what her ideal world would look like, then we would not have any females with children who work outside the house. All women will be home raising children, men will be at work and we will be back in the 1800s.

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      2. Tulip, read my other comments. My stance is exactly as yours. I am against judgement people. I have been dragged into several cat fights, even when I decide to avoid, because my straightforward way of telling the truth, may offend. Oftentimes, I have commented here, on FB and several other places…”Every mother is entitled to her choice, based on her circumstances, interests, talents and family. Do not judge” Why I got down to write out my thoughts on these two blogs… Both blogs appeared very biased and judgmental to me. Author’s choice to stay home is understood. But author’s reasons for belittling working moms, is ridiculous. When my kids grow up, they will probably laugh at both blogs, because their experience with their working “parents” is so different.

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  5. Can I just send a huge thank you hug your way Anumeha? I am so tired of being judged for being a SAHM- by choice. I love how you have classified your responses to each category of naysayers!! Kudos… Now instead of going through a laundry list with each person who brings it up, I will simply show them this link!!

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  6. Its so beautifully written that i fall in love with each sentence of the blog.. kudos!!
    i can totally relate to this 😊

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  7. Dear author,

    I am a full time working mom with a 21 month old who has several heath issues..and I mean several serious health issues. In fact, when I first read your original post, I was angry..but I was too busy caring for my son who was and still is in the icu at the hospital. so believe me when I say I have a very very good idea of what it means to be a full time working mother and also have a toddler with some health problems who needs your constant attention. after reading your second post, I just decided that I had to take the time out to let you know how I feel about some of the things that you have said.. Hospital or no hospital!

    Here’s is what really bothered me about your original post.. you actually compared THE ADVANTAGE of having clean laundry and Relaxed mornings to the THE DISADVANTAGE of not having financial security or self confidence!! I wish I could have said that you were trying to compare apples to oranges but that’s not even true. Both of these things are so far apart that you just cannot compare them.
    so basically you are saying that it’s okay to not own a house or feel any self worth or confidence and not have financial security as long as you get to go out and do yoga and have freshly baked cookies and clean laundry and feel self-reliant!!
    Also, you rent and not buy diamonds..because who really wears them? Let me introduce you to the concept of investment and leaving something ..an inheritance if you will ..for your children. just a little something that families and people all over the world have been doing for generations and generations.

    so while I respect your right to share your thoughts on being a stay at home mom, this is the last thing that I want to leave you thinking with – it is absolutely your and your family’s choice as to whether you want to continue working or stay at home with your children. You and you alone can be the decision maker in this regard. but that does not give you the right to TRIVIALIZE the reasons,the actual, sensible, reasonable reason that most of the working mothers have to continue to go to work and support their families in their own way.

    PL26

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi PL 26… Thank you for your kind words and I will pray for your child.. I will remember what you said… Maybe I am naive to understand the seriousness of life right now ….Maybe I am too optimistic…or maybe I have seen extreme shit in life to know that its not worth killing myself…. Sorry for trivializing your reasons to work… But yes, there are SAHM’s like me who are trivialized by others and my blogs are written on their behalf….

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  8. I mean, whose approval do you need to be a SAHM? If people don’t respect your choice to be a SAHM, who cares, if you are sure about it? You do not have to defend your choice to anyone other than you. Also trust me, being happy doing what you are doing changes over time. Today you may be a happy SAHM, tomorrow a happy working mom. I have done both and one thing I realized is that – there is no one perfect way to raise a child. If it was, then everyone will be doing the same thing. Everyone is doing what they think is the best for their kid. While it is great for you to be available to your kids all the time, just so that you know the kids with nannies do fine also. Like they say “it takes a village to raise a child”- it is very important for the kid to interact with many people. In India it happens naturally, but it is hard in this country. I totally get what you say in your blog posts, because I have been there and done exactly that – take a break from work to raise kids and join the workforce again.

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  9. I am very very happy for you that you can stay home and spend time with your children.

    As widow mom it was very difficult for me with three kids, when kids are young. I was with stay home mom and never thought of future. I didn’t had job and never keep with my skills. My kids grown up and happy in there life. No time for mom.
    Once kids are ten/eleven they will be spending time in study, friends and other activities. Kids don’t have much time to spend with you.

    Keep up with your skills update. If you wish to work after few years?

    World is changing like a crazy. It’s Very difficult to get the job.
    Good luck to you and lots of love to your kids. Thanks for expressing my thoughts.

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  10. It is absolutely your choice to be SAHM ! Well done ! I love your posts.

    I am a working mom by choice and I appreciate your decision of being a SAHM by choice too.

    Below link is interesting, SAHM ‘s are nothing less !

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  11. Hey..a very well written blog..once again.
    While u r quite right in wat u believe and practice, there are other facets also to a womans life..and like u said, its absolutely her choice whether she wants to b home or work .
    Its here that joint family structure helps..where a child doesnt miss on family or a parents love n attention, if the mother steps out of the house for a couple of hours each day.She may do it for any of the reasons- work/recreation..its her choice.
    Plus, your home too doesnt suffer.
    So a win-win for all!

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  12. To each his/her own. Be a SAHM…be you…I get that..but please let others be others.
    I don’t see how saving to buy a home, or working to set an example can be described in such negative light. You have chosen to buy a time sharing resort because you prefer memories over a home (not house but home)….what if someone would rather have a home full of memories??

    Though you keep mentioning everyone should basically choose what makes them happy..I don’t appreciate that you have expressed a biased and hypocritical view on many of your Defences.

    You do not need to defend yourself MOM nor offend other MOMs.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I am a working mother of two and agree that there are negative sides to my situation. However not everyone has an easy choice like you- it sounds yours was easy. There are many other factors in this big decision- your husband’s opinion and beliefs being the most important one.

    Also my mom was SAHM and I personally have gone through down sides of that which I definitely don’t want my children to go through. On the other hand, my MIL was a working mother and I have heard down sides of that too from my husband which I will try my best not to give my kids! So see, I don’t agree that there is only one answer to this. And anyways everyone does their BEST for their kids- no matter what! So please don’t be judgmental about anybody’s choices. You haven’t been in their shoes.

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  14. Heres the deal. This whole SAHM v/s WM debate is as old as the hills. I dont think this blogger is trying to downgrade WMs or their decision. I have noticed though that whenever a WM asks me if I work and I say no and then she asks me if I plan to go back to work and I say probably not as I want to be with my son in his growing years, I kid you not many of them just gulp. Not in awe, not in jealousy, not in contempt. Simply because deep deep deep down they know that that decision to be there for the children by a caregiver who is FULLY invested in the child is unarguably and wholeheartedly the best.
    I fail to understand what other option could be BETTER or even at par for the child. Any alternate solution is at best a compromise and at its worst child neglect. The best nanny, the most warm fuzzy loving exclusive daycare or the supremely wonderful aging mother in law cum cook cum grandma (heck find me one of those :)) cannot replace the way a mother will make herself available for her child.
    Now let me add, like many of us I come from a stable home where I had a SAHM fully there for me (thanks mom!) but she definitely put all her energy in my education, I got an MBA in the US, I worked in corporate America at some very well respected companies, I climbed the corporate ladder and made 6 figure salaries for years. One fine day I had had enough, we had a baby and CHOSE to be there for him for as long as I think I need to. Yeah I gave it all up just like that.I got a good taste of my individual feminist -women rock -women are smart -women can do anything side and I am happy to have left that behind.
    Heres my last bit before I sign off and I know this will ruffle feathers. I always maintain this, if you know you are not mother-ish, i.e. individualistic in personality, career loving, what about me type (nothing wrong with any of those) or if you need the money and cant be there, or if you think being home is boring, or if you think your kid will be ok at a daycare or school or wherever because your neighbor’s kid is blossoming at XYZ montessori……please, please, please do NOT have children. The world is in many places bursting in its seams with population, if you dont have kids it will be ok. But if you do, try to be there, in quantity AND quality. Dont half ass it. Seriously.
    BTW I think the worst offender is the SAHM who sends her kid to preschool full time. Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amazing. Despite such high education, and such high corporate expertise, you discriminate moms. This is the fixed thinking that women need to avoid. There is no perfect single hosed scenario, like saying carrots is best for rabbits. Comments like yours are dipped in assumption that working moms do not spend time with their children. The first 3 years of baby life. After this 3 years, kids need social interactions, and kids benefit from it, while mom pursues her interests. Note, on such assumptions. “Motherhood is a gift of diamonds, not the chains that tie up your legs. Motherhood is not an excuse, but an experience. Motherhood is a joy, not a race”.

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      1. Of course WMs spend time with their kids! I would too every mon to fri I would spend from about 6:30pm-8:30 pm cooking for my child, cleaning, bathing, playing, and putting him to sleep. That would not be stressful at all…. he would love 2 hours with me versus you know…pretty much the whole day.Socialization is the weakest excuse in the world. Sahm are not raising kids in isolaton.. U will find them at the park, library, museum, zoo and part time school as well. It’s win win.

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      2. Save your kid.. hm? Here is your advise, “Heres my last bit before I sign off and I know this will ruffle feathers. I always maintain this, if you know you are not mother-ish, i.e. individualistic in personality, career loving, what about me type (nothing wrong with any of those) or if you need the money and cant be there, or if you think being home is boring, or if you think your kid will be ok at a daycare or school or wherever because your neighbor’s kid is blossoming at XYZ montessori……please, please, please do NOT have children. The world is in many places bursting in its seams with population, if you dont have kids it will be ok. But if you do, try to be there, in quantity AND quality. Dont half ass it. Seriously.
        BTW I think the worst offender is the SAHM who sends her kid to preschool full time. Ugh.”

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      3. Social Interaction skills, for toddlers. Hmm… well, some research may help.
        8 to 6 .. LOL. what corporate is this? That should be a 10 hour schedule correct? Heard of parents, where dad drops at 9, mom picks up at 4? But oh yes, these concepts need to be ignored, to claim why SAHMs are superior mothers. Because the point here, is not on how a family balances, and makes it work, with holistic growth of mom, baby and dad too. But to get the extreme scenarios to prove a point!!

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    2. Some mixed up thoughts there.. socialization, relaxation, then why wm be or not be… but if I am getting the gist of whatever you are saying… you perhaps are not getting the gist of what working moms here are saying, because its just the other side.

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      1. btW…what do you mean “what corporate is this lol 8 to 6?”Those were my work hours before having a kid…I had to be at my desk 8:30 every morning! I couldn’t walk out at 3:30 to pick up my kid at 4…. No way! We had meetings sometimes that started at 5 in the evening! I had overnight travel. I had to check emails after work. I had to be available weekends if needed. It’s called having a full time adult job.

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      2. every time one you spits out the moronic “lol” and uses text speak instead of using educated grammar, I scroll by, because you are obviously mentally retarded. go back to school please. Oh and please get a Job.

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    3. Also based on “you know what….” whatever statement.. and given the fact that you dislike preschool.. you are stating, kids skip school, even after they are 3 years, perhaps even after 5 years…… sole purpose being to state why moms should not work.. amazing logic!! 🙂
      innovative explanation enough to stay at home…

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      1. Ummm please read carefully… Can you point to where I have said I dislike preschool. If you read carefully I mention Part time school. Kids do great in preschool part time or more human-ish hours instead of 8 to 6 to accommodate a working mother. An 18 month old or 2 yr old or 3 yr old in an ALL DAY school away from a loving parent is sick. No point denying this. If you must…a few hours of “socializing “is plenty. And wth is socializing at that age? Do you expect that they are going to each other saying ‘hi… Do u care to join me over a sippy cup of milk?’ Pppleeeze.

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      2. Awesome. Glad you can pick your kid up at 3 and the kids are waking up happy from a siesta or whatever. Glad you can leave your work before 3!!. Glad you have done a country wide survey and found out that moms reaching daycares at 6 is not that common. Yes, I have a fixed opinion that young children are better of raised by a stay at home available at all times parent. You have a fixed opinion that they are better off raised in alternate care (yes yes, only till 3pm). Fine. I think we should end this discussion here. I am bored of it.

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      3. Save just your kid, this is going to be my last comment , for you. Because I refrain from wasting , my precious time, om fixed mindsets like you. I know you will ignore my advise, that do not jump into conclusions. Yes, I am bored too because, all the while, you have been using extreme situations, and also jumping into conclusions. I do not pick up my kid daily at 3 PM, but sometimes I have. All I am pointing to your unwilling mind, is that comparing kids daycare time, to work times is ridiculous. Because they have sisesta time, playtimes etc. If I could get such daycare time, at this age, I’d love it. But guess what some people like working, than trivializing other’s lives, based on their fixed mindsets. Good bye, and make sure you save your kid, and keep your kid’s mind broad. tata.

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    4. Now “Save just your kid”, here is my thought on your advise.
      Cat fight segregation rules by people like you. Despite an MBA, you make a declaration that career women, should not have children. “If you are not mother-ish, but a career woman”. You know I should not be wasting time on such absurdity, but cat arrogance needs to be addressed. You can squawk out your breath out saying career women are not mother-ish , or whatever absurd remarks. But, no . Women will not step back into huts, hiding their faces giving up their careers, to become the mother-ish, just so that they now get called mother-ish and not career-ish. They are going to be mothers, who are going to analyze their circumstances, interests, capabilities.. and decide. whether they want to stay at home or not. And yes two hoots to people who do such absurd segregation, of err mother ish, or career ish. If, you are not at an intellectual capacity to understand the perception of motherish “and ” careerish.. well no point wasting my words here. But, worth a try.

      Like

      1. Not really. So now we perhaps judge, why part time preschool gets more honorable than full time preschool… 4 hours, or 7 hours, or 8 hours, or yah 10 hours…
        for a kid old enough to enjoy and learn, in that time.
        Two separate sides of a bridge here.

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      2. Yes we do. Preschoolers are never old enough to be away for an entire working day… Heck it even exhausts us! I pick up my son at noon everyday and he goes for 3-3.5 hrs which is just right. After that he is done and wants to do his own stuff. When I pick him up my heart bleeds for the other kids who will be there for at least another 5 hours. One girl came upto me and said “are you going home?” I said yes. She said “my mommy will come at 6” she was v v sad. Before you start jumping this is a wonderful exclusive best in city preschool but a child is a child.

        Like

      3. Save your kid, mommy comes at 6 may not be as common as you think, for that girl, or any other kid, generally. What I find from your writings is that you have this fixed opinion on some things, and you want to justify that, someway. For examples you have quoted, I have often seen happy babies at 3 PM, when I went picking my son around that time. These babies would be just up from a pampered sleep. Vigilant moms can do lots more on understanding what daycare is best. Exclusive best etc. again may be highly variable etc.

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  15. When I started reading this I was expecting either a personal choice post or a unbiased view. however what i read was an offensive post towards WM. If you want to be a SAHM out of choice, be one. But you are such an hypocrite that you feel we WMs do not care for our children but you say “you can choose to be a WM”. I have been on both sides and I know that each has its pros and Cons.
    Please do not say you are not judgmental when you write a post that will make every show a WM in bad light. And Btw that your personal point of view. you might want to add it to the next post.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I see the point here is not whether you are SAHM or WM or how much time you give to your kids, it’s about what you derive happiness from. Irrespective of whether one is SAHM or WM, an Indian mother would unquestionably give the best to her child in terms of time, care and support. But their ways might be different. At the end of the day what satisfies and pleases you is paramount. I am neither a mom nor I am working fulltime so I have a very neutral perspective in this scenario. I think the blogger is not against women who are working, she’s just stating her own happiness at a SAHM and trying to share that with the world.Her language might seem like an accusation to WM, but her intent is not malicious. In fact it’s just as pure as mother’s love for her kid. Problem is that we tend to get so judgemental at times that we fail to take things at the face value.

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  17. Seriously, this is the most judgemental post I have read.

    First you write about you being a SAHM, kind of needing a validation from the world that hey, please tell me what I am doing is right. I am ok with that, some people need that kind of approval from the world. Then when some don’t agree with you, you get offended and start lashing out at WM! Grow up girl!
    You preach about each making their own choice, then don’t you think you should have the same stance? WMs has their own choice and reasons for working and contributing to the world. Why ridicule that?
    If you have chosen to put your private life ( and even private pictures of your kids!) out in the open for the whole world to see, then you should also be ready to accept others’ choices.

    Please don’t be a hypocrite and say you are not judgmental when you are reeking of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. You have a “LOT” of misconceptions, lady. And you also quite offensive on this blog, not just defensive. Again, “I as a motherhood sister of yours, respect your SAHM decision. However, I do NOT, respect the way you consistently make WMs look bad”. Here are “MY” personal experiences, now.
    1. My kids would not sense me missing, when they grow up. Because, I am NOT missing. They spend 8 hours at school, while I am at work. Within 1 hour of their return, we are together, spending quality time. I, and my husband, together.. Get that, “me and my husband” together tuck them to bed, because its not the gender, but the parenthood that is important for my kids.
    2. I love to cook ( not putting down either SAHMs, or WMs who don’t enjoy cooking. It again would be your choice). So yes, my vegetarian family gets some great food, cooked at home. I balance it most days. But guess what? I get homemade food from outside, when I am out of time. Bottom line? My family eats healthy homemade food, despite my working.
    3. Am I ready to give up my work friends, coffee breaks etc. Well SAHMs and WMs both deserve breaks. Both. Sometimes when I at home, I take these breaks with my kids 🙂 No rule that kids are not allowed into these breaks.
    4. We working moms represent women empowerment, and we don’t understand how you are being selfish if you are worried only about your family. Coz you can be touche about multiple things, actually. Women empowerment, work, hobbies,family, children… That’s life.
    5. “SAHMs are doing harder work at home”. Not really. Each landing has different challenges. don’t mix them up. Also, the illogical assumption shines here, that working moms don’t do anything at home. Latter is not true. Also, I thought on your previous blog, you were saying why it is so easier to be SAHM.
    6. “I don’t want to stop being SAHM…” don’t, no one asked you to. Enjoy your choice, and kids as well.
    7. “I was in Sheryl’s shoes….”. Million women will have million different experiences.
    8. “whether you will carry your house…” of course not. That lady was just being practical. Retirement, kids education are practical realities, that blogging needs to consider.
    9. Why this discussion gets hotter, and hotter, stays hotter? Because women need to cat fight on each others choices.. That is another reality. You hear women saying,”Hey it’s my choice, hey that’s your choice.. but you know why your choice has so much problem.. no no, please do not get offended.. I was just giving you a view point”. I am a women, who believes in respecting all women. I have been dragged to such cat fights, even when trying to avoid them. But, when I get down to clarify, then I make sure its understood.

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    1. Hello Author,

      I never really thought I would want to reply again related to SAHM Vs. WM.

      But since you gave a link to ‘recline, don’t lean in’ where I read about an over exhausted mom who took Lean-in as her Mantra. By any chance, did you get to read the comments on that post dear. But thanks for the link.

      Here’s where I really LOL literally, where author said,
      “Ladies, if we want to rule the world — or even just gain an equitable share of leadership positions — we need to stop leaning in. It’s killing us.”

      There are some 200 comments and I glanced thro most of them as I really want to know each woman’s views and I should say, women who supported her was less then 5%. You see as rightly stated by Tulip, We (WM’s) do not want to go back to 1800’s and again fight for our own rights & be dependent on spouses. I saw another comment here as how she lost her spouse and she mentioned that its hard to get back to workforce without right skill set.

      About being Independent, I don’t want or like to boast as each and everyone of us should work towards our potential. One of the commentator mentioned that how kids are busy with their lives, I see this with my teenage son, who goes 7am and I pick him up at 9.45pm as he’s shuttling between school, after school clubs/classes, sports etc and does not have time for anything or anybody. I would like him to slow down as I believe there is more to life and wider world beyond high school but this is what he likes/wants to do and also manages pretty good & am not a pushy parent. But my SAHM friends have commented how he is so independent and how they would like their kids to explore like him. Sadly since their world is their ‘kids’, they start expecting more & force their dreams on their kids or compare them against other kids.

      I want my daughter to ask her husband why her laundry is not done and not the other way around like how it is now or how it is expected that laundry is a woman’s job…it’s just an ad but I think with a powerful message, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2UOoEAPPpo

      Since you & others made some assumptions about WM’s don’t really care much for their children, here you go, ironically this came up in yahoo news today when i was reading yours…https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/why-its-ok-to-be-a-selfish-parent-sometimes-111893581173.html

      Yes, I & few other mom’s here like to be selfish sometimes as that’s what makes us happy like how being a SAHM makes you happy. We WM’s enjoy our kids & love watch them grow everyday as SAHM’s do but in a different way. Parenting is a 2 way street as I have learnt so much from my kids as they grow and I don’t believe it ever stops.

      I will not be commenting on any more of your articles on this SAHM Vs. WM topic as I think it’s waste of time, as they saying goes, you can never make a horse drink water, you can only take it to the pond.

      DOT.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. You go girl. The real feminists out there are just nodding appreciation and agreement. Pseudo feminists will exist and let them be, to each their own.

    Like

  20. I think knowingly or unknowingly u have responded similar to women who commented on ur blog. This argument is long drawn and definitely does not require any more writing. Putting down wm or sahm or justifying reasons on why one is better over the other is passe. While writing keep ur mind open to criticism that is first thing required of writer.

    Finally it is one’s own choice and does not need justification. Would recommend u leave this topic here and not write another blog to answer all the critics to this post!

    Like

  21. No comment about the heated discussion, but OP says she made a sound investment by buying a time share. This post could be reaching far and wide, so to the young ones in the US and Europe and everywhere else, and who don’t know about time share vacations/resorts – please listen carefully. DO NOT buy time shares. It is not an investment. You never build any equity. You never stop paying the installment and you never truly “own” your time share. It’s a total scam.

    If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is too good to be true. They get you with the maintenance fees that you have to pay every year for your 1 week time share. You would pay less out of pocket for your vacation than what you pay in maintenance fees for a program like that. And if you ever decide you are unhappy with it, it is almost impossible to sell your time share. You will be stuck paying the annual dues forever.

    You don’t have to believe me, just do a search on Google. Here are a couple links to start with.

    http://www.daveramsey.com/article/the-truth-about-timeshares/

    http://www.consumeraffairs.com/timeshare-news-and-scams

    Buy a house instead. Or a condo. Or a boat. Don’t buy a time share unless you are financially very stable and don’t care too much if the maintenance fees double or triple, or it won’t be big deal to pay even if you lost your job. At the least do your research before you buy.

    Doesn’t any deal that is sealed in a room in an hour without allowing you to research or think about it sound fishy? Well, that’s how timeshares are sold to unsuspecting and mostly naive vacationers.

    Like

  22. Hey Hi, it gives a grear pleasure to hear simikar thoughts from another SAHM.. Thank u for putting it in words. We owe you! I am a software engineer and a full tym mom since 3+ years and believe me I never ever felt a single moment of guilty during this period. which means i am happy in what i am doing!
    thank u once more..
    following you,
    proud SAHM 🙂

    Like

  23. Hey Hi..
    Gave me immense pleasure to go through thia as I myself am a s/w engineer but a full tym mom of a pretty daughter since almost 4 yrs. there is a joy in seeing kids grow up and making memories which i will cherish all my life.

    Thank u for putting and summing up evrythng in words!

    🙂

    Like

  24. I re-read this blog post and the previous one because something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on the logical fallacy of the author’s argument.

    And then it dawned on me – the author goes on and on about making the choice to be sahm (or working mom) for ‘yourself’ while of course saying that all the reasons working mothers gave for their choice are not valid because according to her you should choose for yourself, not because you want to set an example for your kids, or to make the corporate environment better for working mothers by staying in the workforce and getting to leadership positions yada yada yada.

    The author has ignored the fundamental practicality of choice – no choice is made in a vacuum, the choice to work or stay at home. Each individual weighs the pros and cons of a potential choice, not different from what the author did in the previous blog post. And that’s how a choice is made.

    The author ignores that it might make a working mother happy to work to set an example for her kids (maybe a different parenting philosophy from her own but that’s no reason to attack or judge that philosophy). Or that an unhappy sahm chooses to sahm rather than go to a country she can work and bring her child up as a single parent!

    Choices are not as simplistic as the author makes it sound. Choices are made keeping practical realities and impacts in mind. Most people are eventually happy with their choice because the pros outweigh the cons in their particular situation. The unhappy ones are the ones who focus only on the cons forgetting the pros.

    Lastly and most importantly, my takeaways from the comments to the previous post was that working mothers only have their reasons to work, similar to how the author gave her reasons to stay at home. They were not attacking stay at home mothers to warrant such an offensive post.

    Like

    1. First, let me say Happy International Women’s Day to you. I wanted to wait a day to post my comment as I do not wish to hurt your feelings on this day, but tomorrow is a working day (!) and I will not have the time, well, as I am a mom, a wife, a daughter and also a working woman. Just to give you a little context here. My widow working mother from a lower middle class family in India worked very hard to raise me and my siblings. I am so blessed that I can say I made my mother proud and become a pediatric neurologist. I get so much joy doing what I do. I get to work with and help very sick children. My children are not neglected in the process. They were both breastfed until they were 2 (What’s your excuse to give formula to your child even before 6 months of age? I understand there are many reasons one cannot breastfeed, I am just trying to make a point here that everything is possible. Sorry to be rude). My children are the brightest ones in their grade, early readers, kind, gifted and outspoken children, well adjusted, I could go on.

      Such a shame to be reading these kind of posts from a woman, especially a shame reading this today on International Women’s day. I stumbled across this post today and read the previous one also out of curiosity. One of the many issues that women face today is discrimination (and slander), even from fellow women, and it shows clearly in what you have written in these offensive posts against working women. Today (and everyday) we celebrate women, and our achievements.

      It seems to me that you are unhappy with your choice and so in a desperate attempt to prove to the world that your choice to be a stay at home mom is the correct one, you have trivialized the struggle, reasons and choices made by working mothers. You have also given the working mothers who read this post, a reason to feel hostility that they normally wouldn’t.

      Lastly I hope you can view the world the way others are able to see it today. Here’s a snippet of the Time article that I just read before coming here:

      “The March 8 celebration began in the United States in 1909

      A new Google Doodle celebrating International Women’s Day features women performing a range of careers from astronaut to judge.

      The day, which falls annually on March 8, has been celebrated in the United States since 1909, and has spread around the world. This year’s theme is “Make It Happen,” a call to action for the numerous issues facing women today.

      Other careers represented in the Doodle include scientist, doctor, chef and volleyball player.”

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi NP…. I will like to share with you a real life story… I knew this aunty who was a great cook… her family and friends loved her cooking…so much so that at every get together, she used to self cook most of the food… till one day she realised that she was over worked and unhappy doing this.. her health was also going for a toss…..she didnt want to live for others anymore… she wanted to live for herself….

        So, this is what happens… People appreciate women for reaching new heights and celebrate women’s day to make you work harder and perform better and feel accomplished…So now you are standing shoulder to shoulder with men, at the same time, the responsibility of the house and kids is still on you, even if you get your husband to pitch in at home…. So when you have an awakening after a few years (like me) you realise that you missed out a lot trying to manage so many things …. You realise you spent your time ‘managing’ life rather than ‘living’ it 🙂 You are still young…You will also have this awakening sometime in life….

        When I wrote this write up I was frustrated…yes, because it felt like everyone was judging me for ‘sitting’ at home while they worked outside to make their children independent , because they are feminists…etc etc. This blog was to make these people know that I can achieve all these things and more even by being a SAHM and the only valid reason for working is that it makes you happy !

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  25. I have read few other posts by author, and she is a good writer, straight out thoughts. I had not realized its the same writer. I went through both her blogs, on this topic. Her first blog appears more of a review, thinking aloud, on how it may work, based on her experiences.
    I think this discussion gets people standing for no reason, as it involves the lovely experience of motherhood. I hence avoid this, but assumptions and judgments can be irking. Most moms do what is best, and gauge what is best. SAHMs who are happy as SAHMs stay so, WMs who are happy stay so. For those who think they want to go the other side, ask suggestions, whatever the other side. A mom, or anyone, is capable of doing whatever side decide to go, whenever, and also make that decision work. I hope, after the open discussions on this blog, and ruffled up mother hens, all moms will support and befriend each other, whatever motherhood type they decide upon. Good luck, with kids, to all mothers.

    Like

  26. I think this blog is about how to make yourself happy and justify your actions, to find like minded people and reinforce what you are doing is right. Personally, I don’t think SAHMs have anything better than working moms to be proud of. We all make decisions on what suits us best. It should never be like ‘I am lucky because I get to stay home’.
    I will start with my own story as a working mom then SAHM and then as a working mother again.
    I was always very concerned about my kids when I was working. Their diet, the fact that they miss me or guilt that I prefer money over my kids…were the reasons I decided to stay home..I was assured that my husband based on his competence can never lose his job.
    After I quit, I was feeling great for first few months. When I was home I was spending most of my time cleaning up my house with two kids. Rest of it was cooking because they do need meals and snacks and what not . I did not have anything challenging to do, I am not into crafts, cooking etc nor did I ever get any time to pursue my hobbies. I had to think before spending, had to rethink my decision about sending my kid to Private school. I did not feel secure about mine or my kids future since we were not able to save much. I was always working non stop, working for home..never resting. The weekends did not feel as enticing. ..My husband also felt insecure about his job as we did not have any backup earnings . He was working extra hard and thus bringing a lot of stress at home. He was unable to contribute or help in any way. I was expected to do everything as I was the SAHM. Although I was happy I was not stressed about my job anymore and had my kids in front of my eyes all day.
    I started working as a home cook but that too was not attractive compared to salary I got when I worked. Sometimes I felt so terribly bored at the end of the day but at the same time felt good inside that my kids are not raised by someone else.
    This happiness did not last long though, after dragging myself through it for two years..the negativity had started to enter me. I was feeling worthless.. I was comparing myself to other working moms, I was losing confidence ..was totally under-challenged because nothing could give me a feeling of self worth as bringing money home and feeling a part of something Big could. I missed that sense of independence. I also could not contribute any better to my kids life because I did not have time..I was always cleaning, cooking, driving or doing something important for the home. Even after doing all that I did not feel satisfied. I could have spend the same time at work doing things I like and also gotten home some money rather than cleaning 24×7.
    ..and then it happened, my husband’s company laid off people. He had to find a job in next two months or we will have no earning member in the family. It gave me a big jolt..luckily I got an offer and negotiated the job to be a part time job.
    This has given me all the happiness in the world, I work three days stay home, four with my kids. I am a contractor, I can chose to work any number of hours and still earn a decent salary. I think I have found the perfect balance in my life. As my kids are growing up I am increasing my work load. I am glad I will have my job when they start going to school or move out of home. I love my kids, my younger one goes to day care and she learns much more than she does when she stays home with me. She is doing much better than my older one ( in terms of independence) who I have baby sat for 4 years. My husband and I both share the responsibilities around the house..it makes our bonding stronger as we are going through the struggle together and we understand how it is to be in each other’s shoes. It feels good sharing our personal stories from work, have lots of discussions around how to get ahead in career and all that learning from each other. Best of all, I work guilt free..I know SAHM is not for me.
    In context of this blog, I don’t feel SAHMs need to be glorified as they are here. It’s a personal choice. It is much harder to work outside and take care of the home at same time. But It’s more satisfying for me… I must say – Working mothers are not always after money or career and SAHM are not always dumb or lucky…there is much more to them and their decisions than the stereotypes attached to them.

    Like

  27. Hi,
    I like to read your articles. Keep writing! SAHM: I think it is a personal choice. At the end of the day ,we should be happy and satisfied with what we do. SAHM is equally appreciable as a working women.All that matters is ,we should stay happy in life. I don’t think SAHM has made women any less;rather it is a matter of proud! I personally feel children will have a better rapport with SAHMs.

    Keep blogging!:)

    Like

  28. Dearest blog owner,
    I read your previous blog as well about two weeks ago and wanted to comment but then thought let it be.
    This one I couldn’t even read through with focus!!
    And I will tell you why. Because the tone and content of both is very judgemental. Maybe it didn’t seem to you at the time of writing or posting but once all this is settled ( which is probably never) you can re-read without emotions and see how it is judgemental.
    It is great you decided to stay at home. Its what you decided to be best. But then you don’t get to say what is best for someone else or go right ahead and stomp on their lifestyle choice.
    You say its about your choice and diss everything a working mom does or goes through.
    As someone else said aren’t we all mothers first? We all make different sacrifices for our little ones whom we all adore. Then how can you compare your sacrifice with mine? Or rather make my sacrifice a negative against your sacrifice. Its not needed right.
    Tolerance is something which I will come in handy in the long run if you decide to post more articles whereby your principle or way of life has to be applauded. Because trust me for every tiny thing in your life you think is great, for someone else the opposite will be great.
    Thanks,
    Divya
    A working mom by choice and happy about it.
    PS: your american way of eating post is also not accurate. Its the Indian way which was taught to my grandmom, mom and me and my daughter. I guess the american’s copied it somewhere along the way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Such a sexist blog post especially coming from a fellow woman. Your post is very misplaced in our times in this year 2015. There is a movement to encourage daughters to be interested in STEM and leadership positions at their schools. We are nudging girls to play with legos and science toys in addition to their princess dolls and kitchen toys. I hope you change your mind when your daughter is older. Because what a disservice it would be to her if her mom’s thought process is so narrow-minded and hollow. I hope no woman reads your post and decides to go back a generation or two. Even if there is one other girl/woman who reads my comment and “thinks” before agreeing to your post, my job here will be done.

    We are celebrating women all of this week at my workplace as it was International Women’s Day earlier this week. Such beautiful things were said, in stark contradiction to your post. Wonderful articles were shared at my workplace that speak to women’s struggles with work-life balance and how it doesn’t have to be one or the other. I wanted to share them here for you and others to read –

    Work-Life Balance by Nobel Winner Elizabeth Blackburn – http://womensissues.about.com/od/intheworkplace/a/WorkLifeBalanceElizabethBlackburn.htm

    10 Findings about Women in the Workplace – http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/12/11/10-findings-about-women-in-the-workplace/

    In the workplace, what can women learn from men? – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/19/in-the-workplace-where-ca_n_969842.html

    4 women’s issues that haven’t changed since 1911 – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/17/4-womens-issues-that-havent-changed-since-1911_n_3606537.html

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HI Mona…. Thank you for your comments… Did you find this blog sexist ? It was just my way to rebel against the judgement I get for being a SAHM… I just clarified that even a SAHM can do things for themselves and their children that WM do so why should SAHM’s be seen as regressive or dumb ??
      You know your post seems contradictory to me … because 2015 should not be about women reaching leadership positions and girls playing with science toys etc… It should be about the ‘freedom’ that one has to choose between science toys and dolls without any judgement from others… My daughter is very lucky … because she has a mother who will not force her to play with lego if she doesn’t want to ! I am giving her a platform where I will say ‘dear daughter’ I love you and appreciate you even if you decide to become a SAHM or desire to work, as long as you are Happy …!

      Like

  30. Quite frankly, I am tired and sick of such blogs and people spending time to express their very cliche d feelings about the same topics over and again.don’t get me wrong..I am sahm just like you and I choose to be for now and I have been and still am a very ambitious person who Still wants to achieve what I wanted to before having a baby But I don’t think working moms are in any way not paying attention to their babies and not wanting the best for them . This pointing fingers of I am better than you because you made a diffrent choice than I did needs to stop !!.people make choices based on what’s best for them and so does every mother for their family and kids . A working mom needs to respect sahm and vice versa .we don’t have to have endless articles about the same subject one million times a day !!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. With all my due respect to you, your thoughts – this post looks more like a defensive one. It gives a feeling that you are insecure about the decision communicated earlier. Your blog got a lot of attention due to the great and unique writing style and not the thoughts. This topic has been discussed and debated over a million times, so there is nothing new. And when you write a blog like this, you will definitely receive all types of responses. Everyone has their viewpoints which can be right or wrong. Just as you feel its more important to spend time with your child than building a home, some other mom feels that it is her duty to give a balanced comfortable life to their children. My mom was a WM and now I don’t remember how it was with or without her. But what I am grateful to her is for helping me realize my dreams as they could fund my education as I wished, where as many of my friends could not get it due to financial constraints. Your first blog had a very confident and mature tone, but this one is very childish and insecure.

    I am a WM and perhaps will never be a SAHM. I do believe that everyone should be happy at the end of they day.

    All the best and keep writing. I just loved your flow (earlier blog)

    Like

  32. I am SAHM but a very selfish one and to be honest i love WMs. Heres why.
    – Working mothers do what America needs the most to thrive as a nation. A constant feed of spending. Mothers work, they earn, they often spend a lot on their kids for various reasons. Since they are not available they send their kids to a daycare or hire a nanny. Now they create jobs for others. A nanny gets hired, she makes money, she spends. A daycare remains in business, the daycare workers get hired, they spend, you get the gist. This is awesome. They often do take outs or go to restaurants or hire cooks and maids as they are tired. Great. Restaurants need this. The wealth circulates, boosts the economy, keeps jobs growing and its a good for all of us, especially us SAHMs who have to work with one salary so its critical that the job market remains great for our husbands. So thank you WMs
    – My husbands assistant is a WM and she is great. She is reliable and hard working, the result is my husband is relaxed and more confident at work as he has somebody who is supporting his work and assisting him responsibly. This is wonderful as he is usually available for the family and and is able to spend reasonable and un-distracted time with our kid. So thank you WMs
    – My child’s preschool teacher is a WM and my child loves her. She is great with my kid and if she were to choose to stay home with her kid, mine would lose out on a loving teacher. My child spends 3.5 hours with her every morning and comes home happy before his and his teacher’s mood starts to decline as the day progresses. It gives me enough time each morning to get my day in order, prep an organic home cooked meal for him and myself, read up on the news, complete any voluntary work (I am a local gifted and talented school volunteer) plan activities for the rest of the day or sit with him when he wants me to teach him something as I am fully available the afternoon time. We go to the park everyday when weather permits, meet other moms and kids and have a blast. If it werent for the amazing WM teacher of my son this wouldn’t work so well. I hope she never chooses to stay home with her kid. So thank you WMs
    – WMs prove to the world that even if it kills them and their families they can make it work. So if we SAHMs go back to work when our kids are older, emotionally stronger and ready to be in school for longer hours, WMs have left a good legacy and good name for us. We will get hired because WMs have shown that it is possible. So thank you WMs.

    I know I sound selfish but as a SAHM I need WMs to keep going. Its good for my family.

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  33. It was respectful and could envision your confidence in being SAHM in the earlier article.But,this one is more offensive to WM and defensive on your decision.I respect both as I have been on both sides SAHM and now a WM.As I mentioned earlier both has its own pros and cons.When I had my second baby ,my labor progressed pretty fast ,way too fast than expected and was about to deliver on the hospital elevator .First thought came to me was ,I don’t want this to happen in front of the public.The female nurses and the receptionist came to my rescue and before my OBGYN even arrived the midwives delivered and saved my baby and me. Couldn’t stop thinking till day ,what if they weren’t there that day to act proactively.They are WM’s and happy about what they do,my respect towards them increased.First every woman should be respected ,Similarly Every woman either SAHM or WM should be treated with dignity.I cannot agree to your point ,why should a WM care less for their kids than a SAHM based on your justification.If you happily decided to be a SAHM ,heck why do you care about negative comments . Are you really happy being a SAHM.?.Then You shouldn’t have even bothered to write this justification.If you hadn’t responded to the negative people there shows your strength being a SAHM.

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  34. I liked ur article about laugh. Some things didn’t agree with but overall Gud. It other article WM versus SHAM was also kind of okay except high heels n some other comment. But this one looks Catty, as if their is Catfight going on with WM and SHAM ‘s.

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  35. Ha ha! But why are you fighting with working women? U tend to generalise things thinking world only from your experiences. Like Indian vs American kids food etc. It is big generalisation. Many Indian kids don’t create issues and similar many kids who have been bought up as independent babies still create fuss while eating food. I may use net to verify same If there r no real examples. Anyway..I came to your blog again as today’s Brand equity has an article ” why women leave ad agencies”. Article is from Indian perspective. As u worked in advertising firm whether on client or agency side. I would really like to know or if u can blog issues women face in advertising world in India or Mumbai. As Mumbai is ad hub. It will give us readers perspective of ur thought process. It may also become a hit and help lot of other women in ad jobs to ask n demand for stuff. Thanks.

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  36. That was Awesome! And thank you as well. It’s our choice and for our happiness that we make this decision to be a SAHM and genuinely not for others!

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